How to Become a Goddess

LivLuna had an opportunity to interview Tabby Biddle, an inspiring women's empowerment advocate and writer/editor/coach and now LivLuna Real Role Model. Tabby has a blog called The Goddess Diaries and is a HuffPost contributor. She is also supremely cool and down to earth despite being a gorgeous goddess. We want to know how she got to be a goddess, and what we need to do to become goddesses? Is it living in nature in perpetually sunny Santa Monica? Is it walking through organic avocado groves wearing a beautiful flowing kaftan?

LivLuna: Did you always want to help empower women?

Tabby Biddle: While this has been a theme throughout my life, it wasn’t always as specific as it is now. Right out of college, my first job was at the Women’s Campaign Fund in Washington, DC. I was excited about getting more women into political office, but was really more passionate about journalism, in a global capacity. I loved the idea of documenting and telling people’s stories from around the world. I felt that this would have more of an impact in creating good in the world, so I moved over to the National Geographic Society and worked on the magazine. Between then and now, there have been a lot of steps on my path and different careers along the way. They all revolved around the areas of spirituality, yoga, journalism, teaching, women and children. It really wasn’t until I moved out here to Santa Monica in 2006 that my work got very specific to empowering women. This happened as a result of what I call, “an awakening to the Goddess.”

LivLuna: I read that you skirted with anorexia in your youth. How did you recover?

Tabby Biddle: When I was 14, I saw a friend of mine who I had played with every summer of my life, turn into a woman. We had grown up doing everything together in the summer – biking, playing tennis, swimming, sailing, etc. These physical activities were core to our relationship and time spent together. Having not seen her for a full year, somehow she went from a flat-chested, skinny 12-year-old to a full-figured woman at 13, and she was on a diet! She also had her period, and couldn’t even go swimming on certain days. I was devastated. I thought: “If this is what it means to turn into a woman, I am not going there!” I did everything in my power to make sure that I did not become like that. So I ate less than what a growing girl my age would need, and slowly became skinnier and skinnier. Baggy clothes were in style then, so frankly, no one really noticed (or at least I thought they didn’t). One day my next-door neighbor popped over just after I had gotten out of the shower. She saw me wrapped in a towel, and looked at my horrified. She said in a disgusted manner: “What have you done to yourself?” I was horrified by her inquisition, and very embarrassed. But in that moment, I realized something was about to change. This was no longer a secret.

Soon after, my mom took me to the doctor for what I thought was my regular check-up. This however, turned out a little different than usual. For the first time ever my mom left the room for the doctor to talk to me alone. He asked me all sorts of questions about my weight: What did I think about my body? Did I think I was fat? etc. Did I think I was fat? Was he crazy? I weighed 97 pounds and was 5 feet 6 inches tall. The doctor told me my mom was concerned about me. Then he wrote me a prescription for weight-gain milkshakes. When I got out of the doctor’s office, I felt angry at my mom for tricking me, but also relieved to know that she cared. That doctor’s visit was a turning point for me. I knew that I couldn’t hide anymore and that it was time to recover.  I needed to reclaim who I was. I promised my mom and myself that I would eat normally again. Within a few months, I gained back 15 pounds and was committed to never denying myself like that again. Six month after that, at 15, I got my period and was actually proud and happy about it. I enjoyed feeling like a woman.
 

LivLuna: What kind of food do you love? Do you follow a diet?
 

Tabby Biddle: Since that anorexic episode during my freshman year of high school, I have never followed a diet. I’ve always been an athlete, so am drawn to mostly healthy, energizing foods. I love kale, spinach, asparagus, salads, potatoes, yogurt, cheese and chocolate. Mediterranean foods are my favorite. I am a huge fan of olive oil. I put it on everything. I also love Goddess dressing. I’ve been a vegetarian since I was 19.  

LivLuna: What are the Goddess Diaries?

Tabby Biddle: The Goddess Diaries is my blog that I started a few years ago to discuss social and political issues from a feminine perspective, including my own awakening to the feminine. I started the blog as an adjunct to my yoga clothing company that I was running at the time, Lotus Blossom Style. The clothing line was all about awakening women to the Goddess and supporting them to blossom into their potential. All of the clothing had goddess imagery and/or lotuses (which represent spiritual awakening). I chose “Diaries” because that is how I felt most comfortable writing at the time – in my diary. I thought the title would give me permission to be more casual and less like a journalist. Today The Goddess Diaries includes blogs on issues affecting women and girls, as well as features on women doing work to heal and empower other women or girls (Goddess of the Week). The Goddess Diaries has also been a place for me to discover my voice.

LivLuna: How can women become goddesses? What does it take?

Tabby Biddle: I think becoming a goddess is all about wanting to discover your feminine power in all its essences, or at least a lot of them. In theory, we are all goddesses. However, not every woman knows that she is already a goddess. I think the path to becoming a goddess takes an earnest willingness to look at yourself from all angles. It requires a willingness to see yourself in the most divine light and it requires the courage to shine that light on the shadowed areas of your life. Looking at your shadow is the only way I know to reclaim the lost or discarded parts of your feminine self. Some great practices to help with this are yoga, meditation, time in nature, sisterhood circles, and reading goddess and/or other spiritual books. Ultimately, it’s about self-respect and doing whatever you need to do so you start feeling that from the inside out. 

LivLuna: What advice do you have for women who don't see themselves as goddesses?

 
Tabby Biddle: I think in order for a woman to see herself as a goddess, she must be willing to release herself from the paradigm of seeing herself through masculine eyes. She must look at herself through her own feminine eyes.

With this said, my advice is to start looking at goddess imagery. I really think this has a powerful effect on women. There is a deep resonance and a remembering that happens. You can look up images on the Internet, use Goddess Oracle cards (my favorite ones are from Doreen Virtue), or go to a museum like the MET that has sculptures of goddesses from around the world. Start to connect with the goddess imagery and ask yourself what you feel drawn to. Is it her inner strength? Her confident sensuality? Her laser focus? Her peaceful disposition? Start to identify what goddesses you feel most drawn to, and then claim those qualities as your own qualities (because there are). Looking at goddess imagery will help you remember that you are already a goddess.

My other advice is to start hanging around women who see you as a goddess. This will also wake something up in you and help you see yourself in the same goddess light.

LivLuna: How can we stop being so hard on ourselves?

Tabby Biddle: This is a great question. I think it really has to do with a paradigm shift where feminine characteristics are honored, respected and valued. For so long, women have been measuring themselves through the eyes of a patriarchal paradigm. Coming from a perspective where men and the masculine are the dominating power, and women and the feminine are the under-class, its no wonder that so many women feel terrible about who they are. As women we will never measure up in patriarchal system, because we are not men and we are not meant to thrive in this system. In other words, in a patriarchal system, feminine characteristics are given secondary value, by both men AND women. So, the system is set up for us to be hard on ourselves.

The way we can change this is by honoring, respecting, and valuing our feminine nature. Honoring it within ourselves and within other women. When we reclaim ourselves as goddesses, we will find a natural softening to the hard edges. We will be able to reside more in the softer sides of ourselves, while still being fully connected to our deep strength and wisdom. We are on our way to balancing our feminine and masculine energies within ourselves and within the world. 

LivLuna: Do you think that negative body image among women and girls has gotten worse?

Tabby Biddle: I think with all the plastic surgeries going on for women and girls at a young age, it must be getting worse. However, I think at the same time it is getting worse for some women, it is improving for other women as they claim themselves as goddesses. Goddesses come in all shapes and sizes and they know this. I think the more we find our feminine value on the inside, the better things will get in terms of our body image. Again, there is judgment coming through a masculine perspective (even through the woman). As women, we need to continually celebrate each other from a feminine perspective. That means loving every woman’s body. Our bodies hold so much deep wisdom, and if we are rejecting our body or disconnecting from it, we don’t even stand the chance of balancing out masculine and feminine energies in the world.

LivLuna: What do you think is going to stem the beauty and body image crisis? 

Tabby Biddle: I think it is going to be this movement of women reclaiming their sexuality and sensuality from the inside out – not through male eyes. It’s going to come partly from the awakening of the Goddess and partly from women simply supporting and loving each other. It will get much better after a few generations of loving ourselves as goddesses.

LivLuna: What is your job like? 

Tabby Biddle: My job is constantly evolving. Over the past few years, it’s evolved from running Lotus Blossom Style, to working as a ghostwriter and editor on women’s books, to writing freelance health articles, to helping women write copy to launch their websites, to writing articles about women and girl empowerment, to leading workshops to help women find their voice, to coaching women to write their own books. It’s now evolving into developing a program for young goddesses – to guide girls through their transition into womanhood, claiming themselves as goddesses.

LivLuna: Are you an eco fashionista? Do you buy eco fashion?
 

Tabby Biddle: When I ran my clothing line, I was more into eco-fashion than I am now. All of the clothing I sold was made from either bamboo or organic cotton and silk-screened with water-soluble dyes. Today, I don’t buy many clothes. That’s more of my approach now to eco-fashion.

LivLuna: What is living in Santa Monica like? Is it goddess inducing?

Tabby Biddle: I think living in Santa Monica is absolutely goddess-inducing. That’s one reason I moved out here from New York. After seven years of living in New York, I had a strong sense that I wanted to move out of that linear lifestyle into a softer, more feminine lifestyle. Santa Monica has certainly delivered. When I moved here, I had no idea that I was about to awaken to The Goddess. But I did. I have met so many goddesses out here too. The lifestyle is much softer than in New York. The landscape is oceanic and mountainous – both goddess-y.

LivLuna: Why can I visualize you during sunset walking in nature or in an organic grove wearing a flowy kaftan?

Tabby Biddle: I love the time right before sunset. I like to take a walk in my neighborhood to a place I call “Visionary Hill.” I can view the mountains on one side and the ocean on the other. All of the houses on the street have nice flower gardens, and I always feel very happy there. As far as walking in an organic grove wearing a flowy kaftan, I think that must be coming in my future.