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I was in a world of pain during this photoshoot. A

I was in a world of pain during this photoshoot. All my bones and muscles were aching, and I felt like I was moving in quicksand.
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I had walking pneumonia and an active Lyme infection, my thyroid was whacked out, and my immune system was attacking itself. And I had no idea what was happening, but I was fighting for clarity...
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Lyme Disease is invisible, but as the number one fastest growing vector-borne infection in the US, it's pervasive, and everywhere, not just here in the CT woods.
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Patients average 7-8 different doctors and often years before arriving at a diagnosis, because the initial screening test is so inaccurate, and the medical community has not caught up with the explosive growth of the illness.
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Lyme creates an inflammatory auto-immune response in the body and symptoms mimic fibromyalgia, multiple sclerosis, and rheumatoid arthritis.
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After finally getting a clear as day diagnosis, and seeing my blood test results, I was so relieved.

Knowledge is power, but I had to fight hard for that knowledge, I had to tenaciously advocate for myself, and question doctors who misdiagnosed and dismissed me because I did not look sick.
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Months of antibiotics, expensive herbal protocols, and being on a restrictive anti-inflammatory alkaline diet, and I am feeling sooo much better than I did that day.
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But the reality is most days I still feel like some kind of 💩. Fatigue, brain fog, and short-term memory problems are debilitating some days, and manageable other days.
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As an over-achiever it's hard for me to prioritize taking care of myself, but I'm learning that it's not really an option to just power through anymore, and that rebuilding my immune system is going to take longer than I'd like.
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If you know someone with Lyme symptoms, help them find a Lyme literate doctor and insist on getting full blood testing (ELISA, and Western Blot), don't just accept a negative screening test.
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And remember that you have no idea what someone is going through, so be kind 💚
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Have you heard of Lyme, or ever been bitten by a tick?
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#lymedisease #lymewarrior #lymediseaseawareness #lymedontkillmyvibe #lymeawareness #lymelife #invisibleillnessawareness

don't give up mama. i feel your frustration, those

don't give up mama. i feel your frustration, those days you just want to cry because you’re trying so hard but it feels like you’re failing.
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you are doing so much remembering so much keeping track of and caring for and organizing so much. all those little things that make your head want to explode.
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donut tuck that dream away friend 🍩 work on it in stealth mode, work on it in small steps, do one thing every day towards it and you will look back and marvel at yourself.
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i feel like i'm constantly torn between wanting the littles to grow up already so i can work in peace and quiet, and wanting them to stay little, and soak up every moment with them, but also have them play on the other side of the house so i can get things done, and back and forth forever.
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and then as soon as they're finallly asleep i look back on my pics and realize how they're growing before my eyes but i don't see it, i only see it afterwards in pictures, and it's terrifying and wonderful and it breaks my heart, but i guess that's motherhood.
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do you feel this way too?
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#realmotherhood #wfhmom #bossmom #mombosslife #momhustle #raisingtinyhumans #bossmama #workingmamas #momlifeunfiltered #momsupportingmoms #bossmomlife #yougotthismama #empoweringmoms

Do you have clarity in your content? Do you know w

i think wrinkles are hottt mama. i love the way my

i think wrinkles are hottt mama. i love the way my eyes crinkle when i smile.
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i’m tired AF of not seeing women aging naturally...
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do you ever tell yourself you don't like pics of yourself when you look a certain way? that you have a 'good' side?
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that is all baloney. you are beautiful and worthy and loved. i love you, and you better start loving yourself because life is too short.
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you don't need botox, you don't need fillers, you just need to practice loving yourself more, because that's the root cause and it will never end because it's all in your head.
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our society feeds insecurity and distorts our concept of beauty.
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i actually had a nightmare that i woke up at the dermatologist and everything was filled and smoothed and my lips were puffy, my wrinkles were gone.
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i felt violated, mutilated, disfigured.
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why do we think we have to do this? why have we internalized this as beauty? what lessons are we teaching our daughters?
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one of my ants (automatic negative thoughts) is that i don't photograph well when i look straight in the camera - isn't that silly?
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this new year i'm determined to love myself even harder and RESIST the call for the smooth stretchy face and duck lips 😜
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this year has crystallized what matters. it's that we're alive, living in love, and letting our light shine.
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i'm not saying i'm never going to give in to the vanity, and i don't judge you for it if you have, and of course i'm wearing makeup and have good lighting here. of course i care.
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but it’s a tragic win for the patriarchy to 'preserve' beauty, to 'enhance' beauty, to remain a decorative object as long as possible...
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all the mental energy of dissecting imperfections, the financial resources on maintaining the facade, what is it all for? who are we doing it all for?
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God/the universe/pachamama/the godess is love and light. when will you connect to that infinite love?
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what do you think?
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PS. name a celeb besides @glennondoyle who’s brave enough to show herself as she really is! i need some role models 💗🌟
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#bopowarrior #bodypositivemovement #selflovewarrior #selflovejourney

the darkest and longest night of the year is behin

the darkest and longest night of the year is behind us. Happy Winter Solstice 🌟 tonight the Christmas Star will be visible for the first time in 800 years as Jupiter and Saturn align 🌟
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we are made of stars ✨
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so let us release the darkness of this year and embrace the light, and light the fire within as we enter this energetic shift.
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every day will get lighter from here on. this is a moment of great hope for healing, for lightness, for peace.
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for love and light is all we have ✨
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i will take a few days off social over Christmas to be fully present with my family, to focus on my precious girls, and bake, cook, wrap gifts, sleep in, read books and watch holiday movies🎄
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Merry Christmas🎄
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I wish you and your family health, peace, and family joy whether you celebrate or not ✨
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PS. this candid moment was un-posed, and un-staged authentic MAGIC ✨ i turned around and they had draped the lights around each other, like the celestial angels they are...
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PP. fave holiday movies recs please (kids plus rom coms)
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#magicofchristmas #hyggechristmas
#amomentofwonder #livemoremagic
#moodmagic #wintersolstice

i sprinkled some powdered sugar on my gingerbread

i sprinkled some powdered sugar on my gingerbread treehouse ✨
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my front door has some cozy winter wonderland vibes 🥰
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snow at Christmas time is pure magic 🌟❄️
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would you like to come in for a cup of tea, some warm cookies and a fireside chat? (maybe in a year 😆)
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where do you live? do you get snow too?
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PS. the vintage lights flanking our front door that Bill restored are carriage lights from NYC from the late 19th century... the romantic time of 'The Age of Innocence'... i often imagine who looked at them and what their lives were like... anyone else love to think about history via objects?
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#winterwonderland❄️ #newenglandlife #frontdoordecor #cozychristmas #christmasmagic #ctliving #wreathsofinstagram #whitechristmas

current status: getting snowed in at the treehouse

current status: getting snowed in at the treehouse🔥 are you team real tree or forever tree🌲?
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i grew up with real trees (and real candles on the tree!!!🕯). Once we became parents we started a new tradition of going to a local Xmas tree farm, ‘hunting’ for our perfect tree, debating endlessly, dancing around our finalist, hugging the tree, and then the hubs cutting it down...

here is Lucy our perfectly imperfect ten foot tree 🎄
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is there anything cozier than the smell of a pine tree and a toasty fire while it’s snowing outside? 🥰
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#magicofchristmas #hyggechristmas
#amomentofwonder #livemoremagic
#moodmagic

this season is hard. not seeing family in person,

this season is hard. not seeing family in person, not having the celebrations and social gatherings we took for granted, or little family traditions we started with the kids...
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this pic from last year’s Teddy Bear Tea Party with Mrs Claus that I took the girls to with their friends... it was all the holiday feels ✨
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even homebody me is missing the Christmas, Hanukkah and holiday parties... when they’re gone you realize how meaningful they were, how some of those moments, those human connections, that small talk got you through, kept you sane.
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Christmas isn’t cancelled and i’m grateful we’re together, but it’s all just so bloody awful, and the creepy vibes abound.
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i try to be positive and make little moments of joy and celebration at home with the kids but a big dark cloud is hanging over the land...
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the anxiety is palpable. someone i love is not long for this world and it’s just so sad that they're dying alone...
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life is so fragile and short.
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i'm ready for some Christmas magic ✨
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cos all we can do is wear masks and distance, and pray and hope others do the right thing to protect the vulnerable and older members of our families so they may be spared this nightmare.
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come on Irene💉
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#2020christmas #adventseason #christmasfeeling #covidchristmas #christmasmagic #holidayfeels

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